American Girl’s 2022 Book on Body Acceptance is the Progression Towards Reality We All Need
…but That Those Lost to Fear and Hate Have Been Brainwashed into Outrage Over. Yes, the Inclusion and Body Acceptance FOR ALL Book, Has Many Lost Souls who are LGBTQIA+ phobic and especially trans and non-binary phobic- Outraged.
Let us dive into the recent controversy over an amazing book by the American Girl brand: “A Smart Girl’s Guide: Body Image: How to love yourself, live life to the fullest, and celebrate all kinds of bodies” which had recently sparked calls for a boycott of the book during this past holiday season.
Please keep in mind the American Girl site states the intention of this book as: “Every girl needs to learn to live comfortably in her own skin, and this book will show the way! In these pages, a girl will find everything she needs to know about loving her unique self, staying confident through her body’s many changes, and appreciating her body for the life it lets her live… this book is a feel-good reminder that all bodies are worthy of love and respect.”
WOW what an amazing, beautiful idea!!! A chance for young people to learn a bit about themselves and others so that we can ALL feel seen and supported and included!!!
A book that celebrates EVERY-ONE. That attempts to include EVERY-ONE.
A book that is encouraging all humans to accept, love and respect not only themselves but also everyone else- no matter how similar or different we may seem from each other.
The book goes into discussing different sized bodies, beauty standards that are ever-changing and created by societies and cultures, people that have disabilities, racism, colorism and gender identity and expression.
The issue the outraged folx appear to have is over a few measly pages dedicated to those who may identify as transgender or non-binary. As well as a very short description of what gender expression is- or how we express our gender to others via the way we dress and our behaviors- which can be more “masculine” “feminine” or anywhere in between the made-up binary that allows folx to feel they are being true to themselves and how they feel in their body.
So why the controversy you may ask??? Because this book sounds absolutely refreshing and vital!
Welllllllll, the crusty brainwashed opponents are saying…
Apparently, the majority of the outrage over this book comes from those that take issue with the societal construct (ie made-up) idea of what gender is and the discussion of gender identity and expression. Scientists themselves are often the first to admit that labels are created (made-up) as a way to more easily categorize us humans (and everything else) but that this is not at all black and white or meant to be any kind of absolute.
I, and many others, would argue that this book could actually spend way more pages on not only the gender identity and expressions spectrum but also on being more inclusive of others-such as those who are not white and those that have disabilities- in order to represent and include even more of our society and more fully.
However, there are those brainwashed by society that feel the very few pages dedicated to inclusion are apparently an outrage, despite the fact they were written with medical experts and based on science, research and what is innate to us ALL.
THINGS THAT MAKE YA GO HMMMMM AMIRITE?!?!
There are hundreds of negative reviews on the American Girl website which primarily take aim at the book *daring* *gasp* to mention gender identity. More than one review felt American Girl is ‘forcing it’s worldview on readers of every belief system’.
Yet another outraged commenter stated: “Let these little girls be little girls. Stop the disgusting push to introduce topics too mature. It is NOT your place.” (tweeted by a mother; h/t NY Post)
I honestly just can’t fathom on this Earth this line of thinking.
American Girl has reported that the book also emphasizes how important it is for young people to discuss any feelings they have about the book with trusted adults or parents.
Therefore, this leaves it up to the type of parent each child has to continue to teach their child whatever the heck they want, JUST LIKE WITH EVERRRYTHING ELSEEEEE FOLX- so for example-
A parent who truly, honestly believes in loving thy neighbor and accepting those who are different from us- would teach their child this same way of thinking.
And the outraged parent filled with fear and hate that is brainwashed by made-up social constructs, would be free to continue to teach their child to be fearful and hate those who are different from them.
So that leaves it in the hands of any fear-mongering individuals to continue to brainwash their children based on the made-up and make-believe social constructs they choose to believe in- as they see fit!
So, rejoice brainwashed folx!!! You can STILL perpetuate fear and hate! Don’t fret!
Now let me explain two concepts that might help to make sense out of how humans could land in either of these opposing positions. It comes down to two different types of thought systems.
If you’re transphobic…well if you’re LGBTQIA+ phobic, don’t read this cuz you will not like it! Because it is Absolute Reality or that which is innate to us from the day we are born and before we start to learn and internalize from others…
And if you’re LGBTQIA+ phobic- you’re not living in Reality bucko!
LGBTQIA+ phobic folx have been brainwashed by mainstream society and social constructs into what is an illusion-based thinking system that is not the Absolute Reality we are all born into before we were brainwashed via the processes of epigenetics, socialization and internalization.
Transphobia (according to Merriam-Webster)- “irrational fear of, aversion to or discrimination against transgender people.”
Transphobia (according to Wikipedia)- “is a collection of ideas and phenomena that encompass a range of negative attitudes, feelings, or actions towards transgender people or transness in general. Transphobia can include: fear, aversion, hatred, violence or anger towards people
who do not conform to social gender expectations.”
The result of transphobia is that transgender people often fear living openly in society (and even open to themselves). Ultimately the various legislations being passed this year and this past year appear to be attempting to eradicate transgender people, as a class of people, much like we have seen throughout history with other classes of humans who were once (and still by some present-day) considered by some in society as “other” or “different” from those who sought to erase them.
As humans we operate from two thought systems- the Innate/Reality-based Thought System which is natural to us ALL WITH NO EXCEPTIONS and the Societal/Illusion-based Thought System which is based on social constructs and therefore MADE-UP ie illusory.
It can be very hard to see through the societal noise and chatter to what is actually innate to us ALL; how we ALL were when we were first born and before we were socialized by others.
A THOUGHT IS JUST A THOUGHT. PERIOD. WE GIVE IT MEANING BECAUSE OF A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT.
SOCIAL CONTRUCTS ARE BASED ON OUR FICKLE SOCIETY.
THEY CHANGE WITH EACH TIME PERIOD, PLACE, CULTURE AND THE NEXT DANG GUST OF WIND! Keep in mind examples of social constructs that are bare-bones basic: GENDER, SEXUALITY AND RACE! THESE ARE ALL MERELY SOCIAL CONSTRUCTS! THEY ARE MADE-UP BY SOCIETY AND CONSTANTLY CHANGE !!!
The Societal (aka made-up) Thought System breaks everything down into good vs bad, right vs wrong ie into separation! There are no neutrals. For example, when outraged folx decide that transgender and non-binary folx ‘don’t belong’ in this American Girl book, they are essentially saying that trans and NB folx are “bad” and “wrong” and that those following the made-up gender binary are the only folx who are “good” and “right”.
This is the same thought system that is used to rationalize racism and antisemitism. It’s the thought system that allows for example, racial segregation and oppression and that has systems and some white folx saying BIPOC folx shouldn’t have the same opportunities (healthcare, education, employment, to name just a few) because they feel BIPOC folx are separate ie somehow “bad” and “wrong” and that they, white folx, were/are somehow “good” and “right”.
You can follow the thread of this type of thought system throughout history which continues on through present-day. In the Reality which is innate to us all, we are all born the same, neutral. It isn’t until society messes everybody up and gets in everyone’s brains, that suddenly there is this separation into good, bad, right and wrong- comparisons, judgements and separation.
The Societal Thought System also breaks things down into the “shoulds”. For example, the outraged folx are basically saying that trans and NB folx “shouldn’t” be included in this book, only white people, that don’t have any disabilities, gender-conforming folx “should” be included. Whereas, in our innate Reality there are no “shoulds” and we are all one and equal, so then everyone would be included without this separation.
When we use “should” language, we are slipping into something called a cognitive distortion. There are various types of cognitive distortions- they are all considered unhelpful or not life-promoting thinking styles and often lead to mental health issues. According to Wikipedia, “Cognitive Distortions are thoughts that cause individuals to perceive reality inaccurately.”
The Societal Thought System way of thinking creates shame, embarrassment, trauma and separation. So for example- if you are a transgender or non-binary individual you are constantly bombarded with negative messages from society that you are bad, wrong, something is wrong with you, you don’t “fit-in” with peers, others, society, you are “other”. You don’t see yourself in: books for young people, school books and curriculum, on TV, across all media, across society. Or if you do there are often messages of ‘otherness’ attached or more insidious “jokes” attached so that you are not represented in an equal, respectful manner as the “norms” of our white patriarchal heteronormative society are presented.
You start to wonder about these messages that you’re now drowning in and that are based on made-up social constructs that you are receiving from so many people across society, peers, school, possibly family, media etc and the majority of the time without consciously realizing it – you begin to internalize these never-ending negative messages and experience shame, embarrassment, trauma and the feeling of being separate from everyone else- and all just for simply being yourself.
It can be almost impossible for many people to even try to understand or comprehend this – because if they feel that they fit into all the teeny tiny boxes that social constructs have created for us to squeeze into – they feel safe and cozy there in brainwashed-land and don’t want to imagine anything other than that and instead think that everyone else “should” force themselves into the tiny boxes too and force themselves to be something other than their true selves. With no regard for the fact that all the fellow humans who do not fit into the made-up boxes, now have been made to feel that they are not accepted, supported, loved, valued, worthy, deserving, enough.
The Societal Thought System (sounds fancy right?) is perception-based, meaning that instead of being based on what is innate to us it is based on our perceptions which include what we have picked up along the way from our past. Therefore it is incomplete, it is not a full picture, it is a piece of a picture that we are seeing through a fragmented lens. It is defense-based, meaning that we feel the need to defend ourselves because of the separation and therefore fear that is created when thinking others are different from you and “wrong” and “bad”.
THE SOCIETAL THOUGHT SYSTEM THAT WE PRIMARILY OPERATE FROM IS
MADE-UP!
MEANINGLESS!
AKA NOT ACTUALLY REALITY! IT IS BRAINWASHED INTO US STARTING FROM WHEN WE ARE JUST WEE CHILDREN- WITHOUT US BEING CONSCIOUS OF IT HAPPENING!!!
Whereas the Innate Thought System-- is natural to us all WITH NO EXCEPTION. Think small children, EVERY human, before they are socialized into fear, hate and separation.
THAT MEANS NATURAL TO YOU !!! THAT MEANS NATURAL TO EVERY. LAST. HUMAN.
In Reality we are all born perfect, the same, as one with no insecurities.
Think of a brand-new baby- they don’t feel shame when they poop in their diaper! They are not thinking that their baby friend is different, “other”, “wrong”, “bad” for pooping in their diaper!
We are born with no shame, hate, comparisons- this is what is natural/innate to us!!!
This is also known as- Absolute Reality, there is constancy, there is no contradiction or opposites.
Don’t believe me??? Well here’s another example!
Think of a little baby with their baby friend again, they don’t know any different, so they spit-up, that little baby barf babies do… AND THEY THINK NOTHING OF IT!!!
Babies could care less! They’re just BABYIN’!!!
This is because no one has gotten into their tiny lil baby brains yet to TEACH them that it’s “wrong/bad” to barf on your friend.
And BABIES’ ARE JUST GONNA BABY- UNTIL THEY LEARN FROM THOSE AROUND THEM OTHERWISE!!!
So as we start to grow up we are inundated by socialization. We learn things from society, our schools, our peers, our family, community, media -which then becomes internalized. For example, now lil Baby is 4 years old and they’re off to preschool and now at age 4 they crap their pants in class.
Well folx, this 4 year old is going to get negative comments from their peers, friends, possibly school staff, possibly from family. They’ll pick up these same kinds of messages and associations from TV, other forms of media, more distant family, the community – that pooping pants is “wrong” “bad” absolutely can NEVER under ANY circumstances be done.
So now they go from Baby crappin’ their pants feeling great to 4 year old feeling awful, bad, wrong, shame, etc etc because of societal messages.
You get the picture here. They LEARNED all of this via society, socialization, social constructs!!! DING DING DING!!! Are any bells of realization going off yet???
Socialization can happen so subconsciously that we don’t even realize what is seeping through into our brains.
For example, take the ever-changing construct of body type. This changes constantly throughout history, culture, society. So if the media is just cramming a specific body-type down our throats and we see it everywhere in the magazines, on TV etc and we don’t really see much else or this is the predominate body type we see ALLLLLL OVERRRRR MEDIAAAA, then we start to believe this “must” be the only “right” and “good” and acceptable type of body.
Then we start to believe that if we aren’t that body-type, something is “wrong” with us and our body and that we “must” be “bad” our body is “bad”. We often don’t realize why we feel this way at all or start to realize after some extensive research or therapy! That’s because we learned this from society via brainwashing, basically subliminal messages sneaking into our brains and CONSTANTLY- so this was not conscious to us, not part of our awareness.
We did not have conscious AWARENESS about this!! And according to cognitive neuroscience, we operate almost fully in the unconscious, about 95% of the time! AHHHHH!!! :0
Some of the things we take in are even due to being inherited via the process of epigenetics. According to the CDC epigenetics is “the study of how your behaviors and environment can cause changes that affect the way your genes work”.
A common example of epigenetics are identical twins. They share the same DNA, however, the unique life experiences they have cause some genes, and not others, to express themselves. Therefore, over time they can start to behave and even look differently.
Unfortunately, since we don’t live in a bubble- it is a lot of work and ongoing practice in order to constantly shift our Thought Systems from what society has brainwashed us into- to what is actually innate to us ALL when we are born.
THE GOOD NEWS IS, IN ORDER TO MAKE A CHANGE, THE FIRST STEP IS TO NOTICE THIS!!!
Before we can shift our thought system from brainwashed-by-society back to what is our natural innate state, we must first PAY ATTENTION- WE MUST BE AWARE OF THIS!!! THIS IS THE FIRST STEP IN ORDER TO START TO PRACTICE SHIFTING OUR THOUGHT SYSTEM TO OUR INNATE STATE WHICH IS ACTUALLY REALITY FOR ALL!!!
So now that we have an understanding of allllllllll this …
SO WHY THE HECK IS THIS SO VITALLY IMPORTANT TO ALL OF SOCIETY YOU ASK???
I think we can start to see here just why this societal-based thought system is dangerous. In this type of thought system is born racism, antisemitism, misogyny, ableism, LGBTQIA+ phobia and much more of this ilk.
Bringin’ us back round to the American Girl Inclusive book on Body Acceptance- I think it should now be pretty clear that it is vital for young people that are trans, NB, BIPOC, people that have disabilities, have different body types, are in any way a body that is considered by society to be ‘different’ for some reason- to be included and represented from a young age.
Almost all books thus far, erase every other body from society and contribute to the mental health issues that young people often suffer from and often continue to suffer from as they grow up in society inundated by all these socially constructed messages.
Having inclusive books like this is also beneficial to the rest of society,
at a young age, BEFORE they become OUTRAGED by those they’ve been taught are different- because it allows them to see those that may seem different from them at a young age and can allow them to begin to try to understand that everyone does not have to look exactly the same and yet still we are all humans and were all born the same, until society began to socially construct messages to teach us otherwise. Constructed messages that skulk into our brains when we don’t realize and cause fear, hate, comparison, judgement, separation and more.
After all, we are in the midst of a historic past year as well as new year, of states considering and passing anti-trans legislation, which includes (amongst so many more disturbing and terrifying anti-trans legislation) bans on life-saving gender-affirming care for young transgender children, restrictions on possibly life-saving and definitely life-promoting discussions in classrooms of LGBTQIA+ topics and book bans in schools (which will surely include this inclusive American Girl book if it doesn’t already).
This book is one of very few books that is a support and a resource for young LGBTQIA+ individuals who have a much higher rate of mental health concerns and suicidality as well as rising numbers of assaults due to the fact that so many people continue to insist on maintaining these LEARNED, fear-based and made-up ideas aka these social constructs that come from the societal-based thought system.
According to the Mayo Clinic (and other sources based in science and research and everything studied in the field of psychology), the medical treatments such as puberty blockers, that these outraged folks are up in arms over- have been proven to reduce mental illnesses and improve young people's overall health and wellbeing and integration with other young people, as well as can also reduce the self-harm that LGBTQIA+ youth experience at much higher rates than their peers.
I’ve seen this first-hand as a therapist working with LGBTQIA+ individuals for over 10 years.
So, these outraged folks would prefer that young people are living with mental illness, have declining health and wellbeing, are not able to integrate with their peers and are continuing to harm and kill themselves??? All because of their fear-based thoughts which are coming from societal constructs which are made-up and constantly changing ???
Our country is divided seemingly more than ever, or perhaps seemingly reverting back in time to some of the darkest days of our history, when laws were enacted to destroy full classes of humans.
This American Girl book is attempting to provide support and inclusion for ALL bodies. ALL humans. This book wants EVERY HUMAN to feel seen and supported and INCLUDED AS PART OF SOCIETY! SO IN WHAT EARTHLY WAY IS THAT “WRONG” OR “BAD?!”
Now, louder for the people in the back!
This book supports inclusion of ALL- as opposed to relegating anyone that isn’t white, has a disability, isn’t the trending particular size, and is not gender-conforming to MADE-UP SOCIAL CONSTRUCTS to:
Being left out of society as if they don’t exist;
To not see themselves in important books and resources that we all need as young people;
To not be included in these resources so that hate, fear and assaults can continue due to lack of awareness and knowledge of those that are different from us;
To not be included so that they will experience more mental health issues and illnesses and harm and kill themselves more…
Why would any human want these things for another fellow human?
After all, we were all born as one-in-the-same. When we were very young we all loved each other and didn’t judge or compare or categorize and label or have insecurities. We were all born perfect and thinking others were also the same, perfect. That is what is innate to us, that is what is the SHARED Absolute Reality of EVERY last human (as opposed to each of our own individual learned and therefore subjective realities). That is before we were socialized by made-up ideas / social constructs into fear-based and separation-based thinking which is harming our fellow humans.
In big ol’ sum here, WHY NOT CHOOSE LOVE OVER HATE FOLX?! Resist the brainwash! You’ve got this!!!
Love, Always- The Unexpected Therapist <3 <3 <3 (she/her/hers)
www.TheUnexpectedTherapist.com
www.tiktok.com/@TheUnexpectedTherapist
www.instagram.com/TheUnexpectedTherapist
*** RESOURCES to keep handy in the event of needed support <3 <3<3 ***
-Crisis Text Line: Text “HELLO” to 741-741
-The Trevor Project Lifeline: 1-866-488-7386 and thetrevorproject.org
-Trevor Text Line: Text “START” to 678-678
-Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860
-GLBT Near Me: glbtnearme.org
-LGBT National Hotline: 888-843-4564
-Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: 988
-SAGE LGBT Elder Hotline: 877-360-LGBT (5428)
-RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) 24 hour Confidential Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
-PFLAG: www.pflag.org (“Nation’s first and largest organization dedicated to supporting, educating and advocating for LGBTQ+ people and those who love them”)